Listen to 10 of the most common responses dads give when asked about rearing boys.
1- It feels like he is growing up so fast and time is slipping away.
2- I want to be a great dad, but I’m afraid I’m not giving him all he needs.
3- I’m afraid the culture is teaching my son to be effeminate.
4- I told myself that I would not repeat my father’s mistakes, but I see myself making them.
5- I am afraid I’m too late.
6- I don’t know how to connect with him.
7- I’m not sure I’m doing what I need to be doing for my son at his age.
8- I feel like it might be wrong, somehow, to focus on men and being males.
9- I want to reach out and help boys who are not my own, but I’m not sure how it might be viewed by others.
10- I’m afraid I’ll look back with regrets for not having done more.
It is clear that Dads (and mentors) want their kids to be loved and be prepared for life. In fact, they want them to have a better shot at success than they had themselves. Therein is the problem – far too often, these dads didn’t have healthy examples of what a father does to be a great dad. They come limping to the race – willing but ill-equipped. One of the pervasive feelings men have is of inadequacy. Unsure of what to do, they either reach from an age-old grab-bag of failed ideas on what a boy should become and how to get him there, or they procrastinate, or they abdicate and leave it to the boys to discover and work it out with their mothers, coaches, schools, or the media. This is why gangs are on the rise, more boys are turning into gun“men”, and suicide is rising among teen boys. Dads want what’s right for their kids; they just need some help.
What these insecure fathers need, in the absence of training or an example from their fathers, is a coach. They need men to guide them on how to march their sons into manhood. However, finding such caliber coaches locally is challenging, if not impossible, in many instances. Thankfully, a few online mentors are stepping up to fill the gap with counsel, advice, examples, and tools for the sincere Pop who wants to deal with the responses in our list that apply to him.
It is a tough predicament men face. Western culture doesn’t provide many good ideas for it’s men, though, ironically other cultures seem to have some help for their guys. Those people often find in their ancient rites of passage proven steps for starting a boy on a healthy path into manhood and creating a healthy, vibrant communication with his father and connection to the men of his society at the same time. This planned step into manhood is smart. For us too, a rite of passage would serve as a good place to start a boy on his journey into manhood. Any father or mentor can lead a willing boy through a meaningful once-in-a-lifetime adventure if the father himself is willing to be guided. The good news is that that guidance is available. Manabouts.com, after 20 years of development, has intentionally produced a step-by-step video course for men ready to lead their boys into manhood. It is a powerful and thorough online course designed to make sure time doesn’t slip away, that dads aren’t too late, that father and son will connect, and that there are no regrets. With dads’ fears rising, manabouts.com brings a wind of relief and returns the father-son connection and experience our culture we had all but lost.